My Life For Hers
by lateVMlover
Summary: This is a revisit of the midseason finale "The Climb" that explores what exactly was going through Oliver's head as he uncovered the truth about his sister. Dialogue taken from the episode.


**So the mid-season finale of Arrow was so messed up. I am unable to process how poorly this show writes the characters some times. Oliver is going to fight to the death WITHOUT letting Thea know she's aligned herself so trustingly and foolishly with a monster who would so easily use her? Like a plant excuses her for knowingly working with her mass murdering father. He's going to plant yet ANOTHER forehead kiss on Felicity and profess his love AGAIN, and she once AGAIN says NOTHING? Seriously? It's like the writers know no women. It was bad enough they wrote Ray walking away from the kiss instead of Felicity walking away from him, and she spent a whole week mourning Oliver's refusal to be with her. Now they have a convenient replacement for her as Oliver does his "I'm dead" act again. Don't get me started on the weakest fight scene in Arrow history. **

**This one-shot is my therapy for the crushing disappointments that keep coming with this show. It's told completely from Oliver's point of view. It's a way for me to try and come to terms with the choices that were made with Olicity. Thanks for reading.**

My Life For Hers

Finally, they caught a break. There was finally a DNA match on Sara's killer. When Oliver looked at Felicity's computer screen and saw his face, he was stunned. However, his confusion quickly gave way to anger. It was just another trick of Merlyn's. Hatred for the man burned through him.

"So somehow my DNA is on the arrow," Oliver said.

"Someone is setting you up," Dig said.

"Someone with a vested interest in pitting me against the League of Assassins. It's Malcom Merlyn," he told them with absolute confidence.

It took him a bit to convince Felicity and Dig that Merlyn was able to do it. However, Felicity was resourceful and managed to trace his steps. It was possible. Then he got the pilot to confirm along with video footage.

When they watched the video footage, though, the sight of his sister getting off the plan with Merlyn filled him with dismay. The video proved that not only was Merlyn in town the night Sara was killed, but his sister Thea was with him. A sick feeling hit him. It couldn't be! She wouldn't!

How did Merlyn manage to insert himself in his sister's life? She'd been so angry at their mother for the Undertaking. How could she have anything to do with Merlyn? Knowing how vulnerable his sister was, though, he knew Merlyn could find a way to manipulate her. Disgust and anger filled him at the thought of Merlyn using his sister. How was he going to protect her from her own father? He'd been unable to do so with Tommy.

When Dig suggested the DNA wasn't his but Thea's, he wouldn't even entertain the thought. He couldn't.

"Diggle, are you listening to yourself? You're suggesting that Thea killed Sara. Even if she would, even if she could, _why_?" Oliver pointed out.

"Malcolm Merlyn _is_ her father," Roy reminded him.

Hearing a man who he knew loved his sister entertain the idea made him feel helpless. He looked to Felicity, needing her support.

"I hate to even say this," Felicity said, unable to look at him when she said the words.

"Then don't," he begged. He couldn't hear it from her, too. That would be too much.

But Felicity was never one to back down from an ugly truth. She got to her feet and faced him.

"I know how much you love your sister, but we have to look at the facts," she said.

Oliver listened to her explanation—Dig echoing her words. He couldn't stand it. "Enough! Both of you!" he exclaimed. "The DNA is mine because Malcolm Merlyn put it there!" There was no other thought he could entertain but that. The alternative could destroy him. Thea was the only family he had left. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, too.

So he went to talk to her. He had to see her face and remind himself that she was the sister he knew and loved.

She was excited about Christmas. But he brought up Malcolm. He asked her point blank if she'd come to Starling with Malcolm. She denied it, and he believed her. What other choice did he have? This was his baby sister.

Diggle, though, was unconvinced.

"She lied to you!" Diggle yelled.

Oliver argued. There had to be another explanation. There had to be! Finally, Felicity brought the shouting to an end.

"Oliver, I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. But John is right," she said with conviction. Her words were like a knife in his side. "Thea lied."

"She lied about Merlyn," Oliver clarified. "I don't want to believe she could do something like this." He gave Felicity a helpless look.

"Which is why you shouldn't be the one asking the questions," Felicity said meaningfully.

Oliver knew what she meant. He also knew she wasn't wrong. Maybe the Arrow could find out the truth.

Hating himself, he became the Arrow, breaking into their apartment to confront his sister, demanding the truth.

He was shocked when his sister fought back, showing skills Oliver had never seen. Who was she?

"Stay away from me and my father!" she ordered before jumping out the window.

How could this be his sister? What had happened to her? The thought that his friends may be right immobilized him as he stood at the window looking out. His sister had fearlessly dropped from their balcony. A sick feeling grew inside of him. Did he even know his sister anymore?

When Malcolm dared show up at Verdant acting so fearless, rage and hatred overwhelmed him. He grabbed his throat, throwing him against the counter. Maybe he should put an end to this right now. There was no doubt in Oliver's mind that whatever the reality, Malcolm was behind Sara's death.

"Check your phone," Malcolm ordered, a smug look on his face.

Curious, Oliver released him. He watched the video of Sara's last moments. She faced her killer. The arrows hit her. When the shooter turned around, there was no doubt that it was Thea.

His sister had really done it. She'd kill Sara. He looked down at the screen, frozen in shock.

"I don't think you want the League to see that. And if you kill me, they will," Malcolm said.

For Oliver, it made no sense. "This isn't her," he said quietly.

"You've heard of a plant called ventura? It grows in South America, making a subject open to suggestion with no memory of their actions," Malcolm said.

Anger filled Oliver as he faced the only man he truly despised. "I will tell Ra's that this was you. You were behind Thea's actions!"

"And he will still kill her. She fired the arrow," Malcolm reminded him.

"You've given her a death sentence!" Oliver said in disbelief. How could he do this to his only remaining child? Was he truly that evil?

"No. What I've done is given you incentive," Malcolm said, stepping closer to Oliver.

"To do _what_?" Oliver asked, unable to understand what Malcolm's play was.

"To tell Ra's that you killed Sara Lance. You will be given a trial by combat with Ra's. His death will erase any blood debt from his reign. Including Thea's," Malcolm explained.

"And yours," Oliver said as realization dawned on him.

Malcolm had him, and he knew it. He taunted Oliver before leaving, so confident that he was going to easily get the best of Oliver.

He went back to the foundry. Felicity was there with Diggle and Roy. He looked at them for a moment. His gaze lingering on hers. He told them about his conversation with Malcolm. Felicity listened in silence, but he knew she was hurting for him. Then he turned away, unable to face her compassion.

He picked up the arrow—the one that had killed Sara. "Thea was always so kind. The kindest person I knew. My sister wasn't born a killer. Malcolm Merlyn made her a killer, and I let it happen," he said, the guilt crippling him.

Felicity, though, was there to disagree. She came up behind him. "No, you didn't. When it comes to your family, you always blame yourself. But this is not your fault!" she said with conviction.

Diggle echoes her words. "She's right, Oliver. Throw him in front of Ra's. Let the League sort this out," Diggle suggested.

"There's a video. He made contingencies," Oliver shared.

"If you fight Ra's al Ghul, he will kill you," Roy said in concern.

"No, he won't. During the Undertaking, Malcolm Merlyn told me I wouldn't win because I didn't know what I was fighting for. Now I do. I'm fighting for Thea," he said. He had to do this for her. He would win because he had too much to lose. There was too much at stake. He couldn't consider any other outcome.

He made himself tell the lie to Nyssa, the woman who loved Sara more than he. "I killed Sara," he informed them, silently begging Sara to forgive him as he uttered the lie.

Nyssa didn't believe him. However, he stuck to his story. Then he challenged her father. A trial by combat. One way or another, this would be over. He had twelve hours to settle his affairs.

He went to see his sister. He tried to tell her the truth about Malcolm. "He doesn't love you, Thea, because he's not capable of it," he told her. He opened his mouth to tell her more, but the look in her eyes stopped him.

"Don't, Ollie. Don't make me choose between my father and my brother," she begged, her eyes tormented.

As he faced her, he realized how fragile she really was. He couldn't bring himself to shatter the hope she had for her father. How could he be the one to take yet something else from her? "I would never make you choose. You're my family and there's nothing I won't do to protect you."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

He pulled her close. "It means I love you no matter what," he assured her. He had to make her safe, no matter the cost. His life had been forfeited long ago. He wasn't about to have hers be also. Unlike Oliver, she didn't deserve it.

Back at the foundry, he gathered supplies. Diggle and Roy came in.

"Oliver," Diggle began.

"John, I have to do this," he said, hoping to end the argument before it began. There was no other way.

"I know. I just rather die than let you go it alone," Diggle stated.

"Not this time," he said, turning away from his friends. Then he stopped in front of Roy. "Take care of Thea."

"Absolutely," Roy said.

Felicity came in. She saw them saying goodbye.

"Let's give them a minute," Diggle said to Roy, who nodded in understanding.

How was he going to say goodbye to Felicity? It seemed he was forever walking away from her. Would this be the last time he did so?

"So you're going," she said, her eyes pained. He turned away, trying to sound casual, wanting to assure her.

"It'll be fine," he said, unable to face her as he uttered the lie. "I'll come back. Thea will be okay."

"I wish that sounded more convincing, and I wish you wouldn't go. But I know you better than that, so I'm not going to ask you to stay," she said, putting her purse down on the table.

"I appreciate that," he said, finally looking at her.

"But there is one thing I need to ask you to do. And you're not going to like it," she said, drawing closer to him.

"Well, if it's you asking, I'll do it," he told her honestly. Didn't she know by now that he'd do anything for her? She had changed him for all time. But her request surprised him. She was always surprising him.

"Kill him," she said. "You have to kill Ra's al Ghul. This is a duel, Oliver, with one of the most dangerous men who has walked the earth." Her voice began to break.

"And I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think I could win," he said, sounding more confident that he actually felt. He couldn't let her see his misgivings. He had to protect her as long as he could. It might be the final time. He owed her that at least. He owed her everything.

"I don't doubt that," she replied as she moved closer. "I don't doubt that you can beat him. I'm terrified you won't kill him because that's not who you are anymore. I'm so afraid that he'll use your humanity against you."

He wanted to hug her. She had been the one to give him back his humanity. He put his bag over his shoulder and answered honestly. "Felicity, I don't honestly know if I'm a killer anymore. But I do know two things," he said. "The first is whoever I am, I'm someone who will do whatever—whatever it takes to save my sister." He longed to pull her into his arms and kiss her the way he wanted to the past two years. However, they were over before they'd even began. He couldn't do that now. Not when he might not make it. He'd already closed that door for the both of them. Here at his possible end, he had no right to open it back up. She deserved so much more than that. So he moved closer, pressing his lips to her forehead, not the lips he so hungered for.

Then he stepped back and tried to show her nothing but confidence. Her fear was so tangible. He hated that he was once again going to cause her pain. He made himself walk away from her for the second and possibly final time. It was even harder this time, yet he managed to do it.

But she wouldn't let him go just yet. She had to ask. "And the second thing?"

He turned back and gave her a small smile. He could give her this at least. "I love you," he said without hesitation. For so long he'd been afraid of those words and what they would mean. Now, though, they just set him free. Their eyes locked one last moment. She said nothing, but the pain in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She had wrapped him in her love from the very beginning. Now that he was facing a strong possibility of death he could finally accept both the love he felt for her and the love she returned. He didn't need to hear the words from her. He didn't want that burden, so he walked away.

Soon he was there at the mountain. The climb was brutal. The cold made his hands harder to move. He pushed himself, unable to accept that he'd be defeated by the climb.

His old friend told him to remove his shirt as it was custom. He encouraged Oliver to ask for mercy, knowing Oliver wouldn't.

He chose his weapon. The fight began. Oliver stepped forward, unwilling to let the people he loved down. However, it was like he was moving in slow motion. Ra's was too fast, too skilled. Although he fought with everything he had, he could never gain ground. Oliver began to fear that he wasn't going to win.

"You should take pride. Not many have lasted as long as you," Ra's said, giving him a smile.

His absolute conviction that Oliver's defeat was inevitable filled him with renewed energy. He kept fighting even at the mountain edge. But then a blade in his side and a blow to his throat brought him to his knees.

"Don't be afraid, my son," Ra's said with compassion as he approached Oliver. "Death comes for us all. We can only invade it for so long. Consider this an honorable exit." He plunged his sword into Oliver's chest. The pain was excruciating.

Images of his life flashed in his mind as he knew he was defeated. His father, his mother. Thea. He was going to be another person Thea lost. Regret filled him.

Finally, he saw Felicity. The memory of their kiss was the last image he saw. His mind thought of her as he felt the wind caress his face and his body fall. He let her down once again. He wasn't going to be able to return to her. Sorrow filled him. He had promised her once that she would never lose him.

He was going to break that promise.

Then he knew no more as darkness enfolded him one final time.

_*****The End*****_

_I thought maybe having some of Oliver's thoughts would make the episode more bearable for me. I don't know if it worked, but I appreciate you reading. _


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